DUNO _-_

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other for those were some of the best times of my life.

Sometimes I pretend to be happy, talking a lot and laughing out loud so that nobody would know what's really inside. But at the end of the day, I always find myself all alone, encountering the crucial truth that I'm TOO BROKEN inside that not even a million laughter can take it away.

You know that feeling? When you're just waiting to get home into your room, close the door, fall into bed. Just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of desperation. You're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. You just want someone to be there and tell you “it's okay”. But no one is going to be there. You know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you are tired, tired of being strong. For once you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping, still wishing. And you're staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You are fighting.

I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just something, it's all a bit too much to HANDLE. Sometimes, I feel like it's TOO MUCH. I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will GET BETTER. It has to right?? But for now... JUST FOR NOW, IT HURTS.

Even the good memories can hurt when you miss someone bad enough..